Johnny Walker Just Solved Gender Inequality By Introducing ‘Jane Walker’


NEW YORK, NY – MAY 15: Johnny Walker cheers at The 21st Annual Webby Awards with specialty cocktails provided by Johnnie Walker at Cipriani Wall Street on May 15, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images for Johnnie Walker) Photo of Jena Greene

5:35 PM 02/26/2018







Whiskey maker Johnnie Walker just announced its plans to introduce drinkers to a more gender binary-friendly approach to booze.

Johnnie Walker’s parent company Diageo says it will give its original mascot a sex change by introducing Jane Walker. The company’s answer to the gender equality movement will hit shelves in March.

Jane Walker, strictly for feminists

— Thami kaSlwane Mthimkhulu (@Mtamerri) February 26, 2018

“Important conversations about gender continue to be at the forefront of culture and we strongly believe there is no better time than now to introduce our Jane Walker icon and contribute to pioneering organizations that share our mission,” Johnnie Walker Vice President Stephanie Jacoby said. “We are proud to toast the many achievements of women and everyone on the journey towards progress in gender equality.”

In addition to raising awareness for the female gender, the company has pledged to donate $1 to “women’s progress” for every Jane Walker bottle sold.

The change to the logo is the first major edit the brand has made in over 100 years.

Although I wasn’t aware there was anything wrong with the brand in the first place.

Listen, I’m not a huge whiskey person. I much prefer a strong clear liquor. I’ve known some girls who drink whiskey, and I can’t say I’d vouch for their character. But that’s beside the point. As a girl, I have no personal vendetta against Johnnie Walker for having a gendered name. Just like I have nothing against Sam Adams, the Dos Equis man, or Ronald McDonald. Just like I have nothing against my male neighbor or my uncle. Their maleness really isn’t affecting my life too much.

And shouldn’t Johnnie Walker have learned its lesson after the whole Lady Doritos debacle? Marketing a product for one gender does not go over well in 2018. People will fight to the death over this stuff. It doesn’t matter if you’re an unassuming little Scottish company just trying to support women’s rights that already exist. You’ve crossed the line. Prepare to file for bankruptcy, sell your firstborn child, and be burned at the stake. That’s just business in the 21st century baby.

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